did you hear me scream?

Do you remember me showing you this photo of this big prickly pear cactus in our backyard? Do you remember me telling you that we found the big arm that was off to the right laying down on its side one day and how we could tell that it had not just broken off, but how it appeared to have been chewed? Remember?

And do you remember me saying I couldn't figure out what could have possibly chewed it off, leaving teeth marks as a tell tale sign that something had in fact gnawed its way through the cactus, leaving us wondering ...what could have done that? And then I think I made the small comment that I really didn't want to find out what was lurking around in the dark corners of my fear. Well... yesterday I found out.

I went out to the back yard to water the flowers in the newly planted flower pots. It was really warm and sunny, temperatures did reach the high 80's yesterday. I was leaning over, with the watering can in hand, when I heard a funny noise. I wasn't sure what it was as I had not heard it before and believe me, I pay attention to noises in our yard. Especially when I am alone. This sounded a little like a deep snort or grunt, followed by a... muffled scraping sound. I looked over towards where I thought the noise came from and didn't see anything. So, I continued watering my pretty little flowers.

Then, I heard it again, and this time I thought I caught a little movement. So, I stepped around the tree...not thinking about that chewed up cactus and how I never really wanted to know what chewed it off...

When I saw THIS. Which is just about the time you might have heard my scream. Me. S.c.r.e.a.m.i.n.g ! Like this...EEAhhhggggcckkkkwwwhh!!!
It heard me too. And it started to come towards me. Not very fast. But towards me. And it was between me and the backdoor. And it was huge. I mean huge! So, I did what anyone would do...I jumped up on the patio chair. And then I jumped to the small end table. In my stealth maneuver, the table tipped over and I tumbled to the ground. I could hear the thing behind me and could only imagine those sharp nails clawing at the back of my legs (it was so warm I had shorts on for the first time this season) the color of which probably looked like the soft white underbelly of some kind of yummy morsel to that beast. I quickly jumped up again and ran as fast as I could to the patio and into the house. I was shaking so badly that I could hardly move. I do remember locking the door, just in case it could possibly manage to open it and follow me in. And then I thought... where is the Reptile Wrangler when I need him? At work of course. My next thought was... get the camera!!! And so I did. From the safety of my living room window I got a couple of pictures.
And I stayed inside for the rest of the day. Constantly looking out the window and over my shoulder, just in case. I watched it roaming around in the yard, looking for I don't know what. Me?

When the Reptile Wrangler got home from work I told him all about it and I don't think he believed me. "It's five feet long!" "It had long nails!" "It was chasing me!" "I want an electric fence!"... I said. He went out, against my better advice, with a flashlight. He came back in and said he didn't see anything. This morning, when the sun came up, he went outside again. Still, no sign of the great giant ugly monster lizard creature thing. Does that mean it is still lurking out there somewhere? Does that mean it might come back again when I least expect it to? Does that mean I will not go out in that backyard, ever again? I don't even know what it is?

Or do I? April fools! This giant creature was seen at the zoo last year. It was not in my yard. Thankfully. Because if it was, you really would hear my scream. Ha!

I just hope this won't become a reality because then the joke might be on me.